Quick (And Painful) Hits: WWE Battleground

The first thing I want to get out of the way is my overall thoughts on the show, so that there’s no confusion. I hated this show. This was miserable to sit through. This soured me more on Smackdown as a whole than I think anything else could have. It left a bad taste that will assuredly linger for awhile. The bright spots in this show were incredibly sparse and, even then, they still had a tinge of disappointment to them. With that delightful introduction in mind, here’s my thoughts on WWE Battleground:

Tye Dillinger vs Aiden English

• This was surprisingly my second favorite match of the night. The match had a lot of back and forth action for a preshow bout. It was wrestled more like an important upper midcard match
• This was one of only two matches where I was actually drawn into a nearfall. Aiden English’s front facelock facebuster felt like it was endgame for The Perfect Ten. In the end though, an exceptional looking lifting full nelson facebuster from English put the match away
• Both competitors got to show their personalities in this match and English was somehow even able to successfully include his new overly-emotional artist gimmick into the match
• I think English winning was a good decision that helps make it feel like he is a bit more than just a jobber. It should also set up what should be a pretty entertaining rubber preshow match between the two

The Usos vs The New Day

• The New Day prevailed in a hard fought contest that lived up to the expectations set by their last bout
• The Xavier Woods flying elbow drop across the ring being countered by a sliding superkick was easily the best spot of the night in my opinion
• Unfortunately, I wish this match had a different outcome as I think it dampens The Usos push. The New Day really didn’t need the title reign to stay relevant where The Usos have benefited from the increased spotlight.
• On a side note, WWE needs to change the way it books The New Day in matches. They’re still overcoming enormous odds and kicking out of moves that should put the match away left and right. That should have ended after their record-breaking title reign and Revival beatdown. They aren’t the tag team equivalent of Brock Lesnar and should not be treated with that level of insurmountability.

• In the end though, this was my favorite match of the night, and coming off of the surprisingly good preshow bout, left me optimistic for the rest of the show

Shinsuke Nakamura vs Baron Corbin

• It didn’t take long for my opening match high to fall. This was a surprisingly boring match that lacked the energy I know both competitors have in them
• The match started out with an electric staredown. That was about the extent of my enjoyment in the bout
• Nakamura winning by DQ was an understandable ending, yet it still felt like a letdown. When in context of the Pay-Per-View as a whole, this outcome felt even worse given the horrid endings of several major bouts
• Hopefully these two can eventually have a match that reaches the expectations I believe were set for this rivalry

Women’s Number One Contender’s Match

• It was extremely refreshing to see someone not named Charlotte or Sasha Banks get a title opportunity. Natalya should shine in this rivalry and elevate the somewhat bland Naomi
• I was a little bit letdown that the newly formed alliance between Lana and Tamina Snuka really didn’t result in anything. They were the first two eliminated even though they dictated the pace at the onset of the bout. I would have liked to have seen them at least eliminate Becky Lynch or Charlotte to set up a future feud
• This ended up being an ok match overall with a good ending. That actually puts it far ahead of most of the other matches on this show

Kevin Owens vs AJ Styles

• This rivalry continues to baffle and frustrate me. The title change to Owens, and the incredibly awkward ending (more on that in just a bit), seems to imply a final showdown at Summerslam. Why then, did Styles win the title at Madison Square Garden on a live show? It essentially served no purpose then to, yet again, give the New York crowd an exciting live show outcome that we all know will never be repeated in any other city or location
• The match itself was bland and lacked a certain synergy. Somehow, despite the fact that these are two of my favorite competitors of all time, they are incapable of putting on a truly exciting match together. There were virtually no exciting spots and the match was mostly a rundown of each superstar’s movelist
• The ending of this match was one of the strangest endings to a match I have seen in quite awhile. The ref could obviously see that Styles’ shoulder was up. It requires me to completely and utterly suspend my belief to buy that the ref was that blind. I guess I’m suppose to believe he was woozy from the meaningless bump he took? Either way, it was incredibly awkward and yet it was somehow topped twice on this same show

John Cena vs Rusev

• Another completely boring and near unwatchable bout, Rusev taking on Cena for the hundredth time nearly put me to sleep. The only thing that kept me awake was trying to figure out why the rules of the flag match changed. The flags were placed at strange angles jutting almost out of the competitors grip. The podium race was a needless addition that prolonged an already painful match. Flag matches are bad enough in their traditional execution and are even worse in this format
• What was really amazing was the fact that neither Cena nor Rusev figured that they could just throw the little flagstand into the crowd thus ending the other’s chance at winning. It was another of an endless streams of logical leaps I would have needed to make to actually believe a match on this card
• Cena winning was the obvious outcome and will probably lead to him facing Jinder Mahal at Summerslam. That’ll be a barn-burner for sure (said no one ever).

Sami Zayn vs Mike Kanellis

• Why Kanellis lost on his Pay-Per-View debut will be just another decision on this show that I will probably never understand. Zayn doesn’t gain much here by defeating an unestablished competitor. Kanellis just ends up losing out by looking like a completely inept opponent who can only win with a massive amount of interference. Speaking of which...

Jinder Mahal vs Randy Orton

• It took Jinder Mahal two jobbers and the return of the worst in-ring competitor in WWE history to put away Randy Orton. That’s right folks, I think The Great Khali is the worst in-ring superstar ever. Controversial, I know. Sarcasm aside, his reemergence meant absolutely nothing to me other than solidifying my hatred for this show.
• The match itself was so horribly laid out that I am fairly certain a five year old could point out the faults in its execution. The door system of the first “cage” was basically worthless and could have been completely circumvented if both competitors just decided to climb out and fight outside the ring. While they were climbing though, they would probably realize they could just step from the smaller “cage” onto the bigger “cage” and only have to climb about two feet to win. I don’t care that having the “cages” any further apart would be impossible due to the amount of seating because it just means that the match should never have happened. Also, they had “steel-reinforced bamboo”. That alone should make someone question why this match was needed.
• The high point of this match, if you think this match is capable of a high point, was a Singh brother flying off the prison through an announce table butt-first. I’ve seen quite a bit on the internet about this bump and would like to point out that it was about the worst looking table dive I’ve seen. Shane McMahon would be ashamed that a dive of that quality occurred on his show
• Overall, Mahal winning hopefully puts a final stake through this rivalries heart. If that means Orton vs Khali at Summerslam along with Cena vs Mahal though, was it even worth it?

All together, this was potentially my least favorite Pay-Per-View I have ever had the misfortune of watching. It somehow ruined any enjoyment I take in watching the blue brand. I shutter at the thought of Smackdown’s future.